


Amor Vincit Omnia

by Bluebird2479



Series: In Perpetuum et Unum Diem - fem malec au [3]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/F, Female Alec Lightwood, Female Magnus Bane, Gender Changes, Girls Kissing, Girls in Love, Hindu Magnus bane, Hinduism, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Manipulative Camille Belcourt, POV Magnus Bane, Prince of Hell Magnus Bane, fem Malec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:42:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25207903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluebird2479/pseuds/Bluebird2479
Summary: Megara was centuries old and she's been with thousands of people in all those years.But all her life, there were two rules that Megara lived by.Number one, never hurt the person she was with. No matter who it was, Megara was always honest with her partners, never demanding more than they wanted to give, never cheating.Her second rule was never, ever date shadowhunters.But the gorgeous archer with the endearing smile and sad, honest eyes would be her undoing.....Megara's pov from the day she met Alex till the day of the wedding that wasn't
Relationships: Magnus Bane & Clary Fray, Magnus Bane & Ragnor Fell, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: In Perpetuum et Unum Diem - fem malec au [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805611
Comments: 3
Kudos: 34





	Amor Vincit Omnia

**Author's Note:**

> Third part in the series. I had a lot of fun writing Megara Bane. You probably won't understand a few things without reading the previous works
> 
> I made Megara a Hindu in this because in s3 e11, when Iris Rouse tries to surf through Magnus' memories, he shows her his oldest memories and there was a statue of lord Shiva in one of them. Seems random but I thought it would be interesting to explore that.

You would risk you're life for one shadowhunter?" Megara had asked Dot incredulously.  
If only she knew how much her life was about to change in the next few days. 

All because of one shadowhunter.   
\---------  
Despite her reputation for hedonism and debauchery, Megara took her role as the High Warlock quite seriously. So the minute she saw Circle members in her club and got wind of Valentine's intended rise, she immediately gathered the warlocks under her charge and went into hiding.  
But she couldn't resist when she got the fire message from the New York institute about bartering the Lightwood family necklace for information.  
It had been her choice to give that necklace to Will Herondale and she hadn't seen it since Anna Lightwood started wearing it. But she wanted it back now.

Camille was the past she was trying to move on from. But when Megara loved someone, she loved deeply and Camille had been a constant in her long life.   
The necklace held many memories of Camille and she couldn't let go of it, not yet.  
She knew very well the necklace wasn't worth risking her life for, but against her better judgment she agreed to meet Clarissa Fairchild.

Clary didn't remember her but Megara had watched the girl grow up. She couldn't help but feel a little bit protective of her. 

Jace Wayland irritated her. He was everything she despised in shadowhunters. Arrogant, self righteous pricks who thought Downworlders owed them their services.   
But something about the boy was familiar too. She could see a little bit of Will Herondale in him.   
Strange. 

Before she could dwell on that, however, circle members attacked and an arrow whizzed past Megara to hit the man who'd been about to stab her.  
A girl with a bow swept past her and Megara was momentarily shocked because she was sure she'd seen Cecily. Briefly she remembered the conversation she'd had with Tessa a few years ago about a Lightwood girl with Herondale blue eyes.

Sure enough, Megara recognized Tessa's magical signature on the girls bow.   
She watched the archer, her Knight in Black hunting gear it would seem, take the blade from the fallen circle member and flip it in her hand.  
That...was the hottest thing Megara had seen in a long time.  
Sadly, she couldn't stay behind to flirt with the sexy archer. She needed to go back and make sure her Warlocks were okay.

With the necklace in hand, she offered protection to Clary one last time and went through the portal when she refused.

When she arrived at the warlocks lair, Megara was distracted by that days events. The necklace felt like deadweight in her pocket and Megara wondered if she really even wanted it. 

Her thoughts kept returning to the blue eyed archer. Tessa had told her how the girl had been ready to face Clave punishment to save innocent fledgling vampires. Back then, Megara had been skeptical of Tessa's story. Now she had seen the girl save her life and she wasn't so sure. 

Unfortunately, her distraction allowed the Circle members to take them by surprise. She cursed herself for not being alert and joined the fight. She knew Shadowhunters had also come, she'd seen a flash of a whip wielded by a dark haired girl who looked exactly like Maryse Lightwood.

The man in front of her gloated about how he killed Elias and then taunted her about taking her eyes and Megara felt fury wash over her.   
She wanted to show him just how powerful she was. Her partying ways made people forget that she was the daughter of a Prince of Hell. People like the circle members brought out that darkness in her.

Before she could do anything, however, an arrow was shot into the man's leg and in her surprise, Megara finished off the man quickly

"Well done." The shadowhunter behind her said and Megara was amused. A Nephilim praising a warlock? She was used to multiple reactions to her magic ranging from terror to awe to disgust. But simple praise, like she was a partner on patrol? That was new.   
She made some meat pun and turned to look at the shadowhunter.   
To her surprise, (and delight), it was the blue eyed archer. 

Now, Megara was centuries old and she's been with thousands of people in all those years. Ranging from one night stands to loving relationships, she's experienced it all.   
But all her life, there were two rules that Megara lived by.

Number one, never hurt the person she was with. No matter who it was, Megara was always honest with her partners, never demanding more than they wanted to give, never cheating. And all the times her partners hurt _her_ had only hardened her resolve to keep that rule.

Her second rule was never, ever date shadowhunters. They were more trouble than they were worth. And the girl in front of her was a _Lightwood_ for God's sake! The daughter of former circle members.

But the girl was also just Megara's type. She was tall and athletic, although slightly shorter than Megara herself. Her long, jet black hair was pulled back into a messy pony tail and her runes stood out starkly against her pale skin. She had a rugged sort of beauty about her that made her seem intimidating and alluring at once.   
But her eyes! Despite herself, Megara felt a sharp ache in her heart as she remembered her old friends. 

Megara was suddenly having a hard time remembering rule number 2.

But it was just an itch right? A curious desire. Ever since Camille, Megara had closed herself from feeling anything for anyone. All she had was torrid affairs and one night stands.

That's all this was. She wanted to charm the tough shadowhunter and feel her come apart under Megara's touch until she forgot all about the Clave, her family and her angelic duty and could remember nothing but Megara's name.  
With that thought, she confidently introduced herself to the girl, intent on flirting with her, getting what she wanted and forgetting all about her. 

But then Alex, that was her name apparently, gave her an unguarded, bright smile that made her blue eyes light up like lamps and stuttered adorably, looking far too innocent for a shadowhunter who just killed someone. 

Megara was in a lot of trouble. 

She gave the necklace to Isabelle Lightwood and waited for the ache to come. She was surprised to find it never did and Megara actually felt lighter now that she no longer carried the necklace.

She made some quip about how the necklace would look silly on her brother and Isabelle smiled, not knowing that Megara was remembering Cecily saying those same words to Will, which prompted him to give her the necklace in the first place. 

Megara subtly asked Isabelle if Alex and Jace were a thing because if there was anything Megara was good at, then it was reading people. Isabelle shook her head and gave Megara a knowing smile which she took as permission to make a move on her sister.   
So turns out Alex may look like Cecily but she had Anna's taste in partners, namely; girls. 

Standing next to each other, Jace and Alex looked so much like Will and Cecily, Megara felt like she was getting whiplash.

Jace was just as obnoxious as Will had been with none of his charm. She had been trying to flirt with Alex but Jace butted in instead. 

She knew her distaste of Jace was only because she could sense his feelings for Alex. Megara didn't understand why she was trying so hard.  
Alex was as oblivious as she was beautiful. Megara couldn't be more obvious about her feelings if she wore a neon sign on her head.

"You people are pathetic." Isabelle had aptly declared and Megara grudgingly agreed with her.

Alex's memory made her wonder if she was barking up the wrong tree. So far, Alex had shown sisterly affection towards Jace and Megara could tell Jace and Alex were parabatai. They interacted like Will and Jem. 

But then Jace freaked out and Megara knew his attraction was one sided. She felt much too annoyed to be concerned when the boy slumped to the ground unconscious after Clary killed the demon. Although she already knew he'd be alright.

She also realized Alex's apprehension to acknowledge her advances. Megara forgot that Nephilim had their archaic prejudices regarding anything that didn't fit their idea of normal. She was old enough to remember intolerant times and she felt a sudden ache for the girl.  
Alex didn't feel like a conquest anymore. She never was if Megara was being honest with herself.

The moment Alex smiled at her, open and honest, Megara was done for.  
\-----------------  
Before the shadowhunters could leave after the disaster with the memory demon, Megara pulled Isabelle aside to ask for her sisters phone number which the younger Lightwood girl had given to her with a wink.

The next day, Megara called Alexandra for drinks. When she hung up on her, Megara thought she was playing hard to get and prepared herself for a challenge.

At least that's what she told herself. Pretending that Alexandra was just an interesting challenge was the lamest lie she told herself.

Megara briefly knew Luke from his circle days. After he was bitten, she had helped him find Jocelyn Fairchild in New York and the last she'd heard of him, he was in the police force.  
Now he was the new Alpha of the New York pack and oh! He was also currently bleeding to death on her couch 

She knew shadowhunters were trouble! Ugh!!

The day had been long and Megara was exhausted. She had just portaled back from three different cities after reinforcing wards, helping fellow warlocks in tight spots with the Clave and making sure her people in Brooklyn were safe. Her magic was severely depleted and an alpha bite took a lot of strength to heal.

But Megara would never back out from helping someone in need, no matter how much she pretended not to care.  
On top of helping Luke, she also had a heart to heart with Clary while trying to help her deal with the sudden identity crisis. Megara was impressed with her to be honest. Clarissa's whole life had been turned upside down, her mother was missing and she found out her father was a homicidal maniac; and yet she handled everything with a lot more decorum than expected.

She didn't actually need Alex, Jace probably also knew that. But if Alex hadn't come when she had, they would've lost Luke.

Megara had wondered what it would feel like to feel those slender, yet strong arms wrapped around her. Her imagination involved decidedly less clothing.

But she never imagined the day a shadowhunter would hold her tight and let her take their strength. Alex gave without any resistance. A little more and Megara could've easily killed her and a trained shadowhunter would know that.  
Alex trusted her to take enough to heal Luke and not more. And she was doing that to help a Downworlder no less! 

A shadowhunter giving their strength to a warlock to heal a werewolf. This would've sounded like the beginning of a bad joke to Megara only a few days ago. She was pretty sure neither Cat nor Ragnor would beleive her if she told them now. 

After shifting Luke onto a bed in a different room and leaving him to explain things to Clary, Megara went back to the living room fully intending to take advantage of her time alone with Alex.

Except, she found her kneeling in front of the couch trying to get the blood stains out of it and Megara felt her heart _melt_.

"I think you've used enough magic today." Alex said nonchalantly when she pointed out that she could've cleaned it herself.   
Megara was stunned. Aside from fellow warlocks, no one, not even other Downworlders were considerate about how much magic she used. Camille would roll her eyes at her when Megara told her she was too exhausted to portal them anywhere for their dates.   
Even her friends, who always meant well but just didn't understand, would sometimes demand more than she was capable of. 

Megara was only trying to get into the girls pants but Alex was making it really hard for her not to fall for her.   
It was too late anyway.  
Still, Megara tried to keep up the charade and offered Alex a cocktail. And she just _had_ to scrunch up her nose like that at the taste and Megara was utterly and truly done for. 

"You've unlocked something in me Alexandra...."

The others left but Alex stayed behind to make sure Megara was alright. She casually asked her about her bow and Alex's eyes lit up in excitement.   
The night took a different turn than Megara expected and she found that she genuinely enjoyed just talking to Alex. 

Alex looked so young and carefree when she talked, Megara wished she was this relaxed around her more often. She normally stood so still, ever the attentive soldier. But while talking about something she liked, she used her hands a lot, waving them around to emphasize her words. It was endearing and Megara liked noticing these little details about her. 

It had been a while since she was able to just sit and relax with someone.   
Alex asked her about Camille and Megara hid a smirk when she heard the envy in her voice.   
"You deserve better." Alex said simply and Megara heard that line many times but coming from Alex, it hit differently. This was the second time they were meeting and already Alex had formed such a high opinion of her.   
'I hope I can deserve you.' Megara thought. 

She tried flirting again but the girl seemed intent on leaving Megara hanging. She asked her about her potions of all things!

Most people found potion making to be boring and Megara knew Alex was just trying to change the subject. But she took pity on the girl and humored her instead of calling her out on it. 

The thing is, Megara really liked making potions. There was an acute science and a subtle art to it that never failed to interest her. And once she started taking about it, she got carried away.   
People never cared about it though. If you didn't understand what was being done then it would be really boring to listen to. 

But Alex listened. She probably didn't know the names of half the ingredients Megara was listing but she listened anyway and asked questions and looked genuinely interested about what Megara had to say.   
People mostly listened to Megara only if she spoke what they wanted to hear or if they needed something from her.

Shadowhunters especially didn't care about warlock sciences and they certainly didn't find them 'incredible', as Alex put it.

And then Alex shyly admitted that she liked reading mundane literature and Megara absolutely needed to show her her collection.

Alex looked at all her books with an awestruck expression, clearly not listening to a word Megara was saying. Megara watched Alex stroll across the room looking for all the world like a child in a candy store.   
It was that open innocence that attracted her to Alex.

She saw Alex falter when she saw one particular book, quickly moving away from it like it would burn her.  
' _The price of salt_." Ah!   
She quoted a line from the book and Alex tried to act nonchalant but she was blushing furiously and tried hard to hide her interest in it.  
She asked about Harry Potter and Megara couldn't tell if she was changing the subject or genuinely curious.

Seemed like the latter since Alex had the endless curiosity of a scholar exploring the world.  
'I want to explore the world with you. ' Megara thought

She couldn't hide the longing in her voice when she talked about the magical community in Harry Potter.  
For a second, Megara was afraid she'd overstepped. She was telling a shadowhunter that she wasn't satisfied with the Clave policy.  
Normally, Megara didn't give one flying fuck what Nephilim thought of her and she enjoyed shoving her opinions up their bigoted asses.  
But Alex was different. Megara didn't want to drive her away.  
She looked at Alex expecting her to be offended.   
Instead she looked guilty. 

It was small but still meant a lot. A shadowhunter taking accountability for their actions. Alex didn't do or say anything but Megara could almost hear the gears in her head working.

Megara had a strange thought just then.   
For years, she didn't think change was possible in the shadow world. Nephilim will always fear Downworlders and where there is fear, there is a need to control and oppress.  
For centuries she didn't believe change was possible but looking at Alexandra Lightwood, Megara thought she was looking at the future of the shadow world.   
It was a future Megara looked forward to. 

Trying to lighten the mood, Megara started looking for a children's classic for Alex to read and saw Alex grinning at her through her periphery.  
Ha! Robin Hood. Megara had seen the other books that Alex was eyeing so she knew a book about outlaws was nothing new to her.   
If she read The Hunger Games then surely she'd enjoy Robin Hood right?

She could pinpoint the exact second Alex seemed to realize where she was. A shadowhunter discussing hobbies with a warlock.   
Maryse would be furious.  
Megara tried to hide her disappointment when Alex put the book back and announced that she should leave. She sounded like she was forcing herself to say that.

Alex wasn't playing hard to get. She was simply lost...confused. The girl was torn between following her duty and following her heart.   
Suddenly, Alex wasn't a challenge, she was a fight. Megara wanted to show this girl she deserved happiness, a chance at love and freedom. And she was prepared to fight to give her that chance.

She watched Alex while she slept on her couch. She looked younger like this, peaceful. Away from her duty to the Clave, the expectations of her parents and her responsibility towards her siblings. It felt like a privilege, getting to see Alex so carefree and relaxed. Megara doubted she was like this around her siblings even.

'I'm falling for you.' Megara thought 'You're going to break my heart, but I can't bring myself to care.' 

She laid down on the couch opposite to Alex, lulled to sleep by the shadowhunters soft snores.  
\----------------  
When Alex admitted she trusted her, Megara felt her heart soar. This was what made her fall for the girl, her blunt honesty.   
She didn't have to use charming words or pickup lines, Alex could make people like her just by being honest. That kind of genuinity was rare.

It was that honesty that allowed Megara to fall asleep in the same room as a trained killer. She would never let her guard down like that in front of another Nephilim. 

She heard of the forsaken attack at the Jade Wolf and immediately went to the institute when she was called to examine the body.   
Mostly she went because she wanted to see Alex.  
Isabelle's glee at getting to dig into the forsaken body was frankly, a little terrifying and Megara was glad to leave the lab as fast as possible. 

Megara must say, Alex looked divine in those workout clothes which left nothing to imagination. So far, Alex's fashion sense seemed limited to hunting gear and old, ratty sweaters so she suspected Isabelle's hand in buying that wonderful sports bra. She had to remember to send a thank you note to Izzy but for now, she'd rather admire the scene in front if her.  
She didn't even bother hiding her disappointment when Alex put on a hoodie when she saw her, although she left it unzipped and Megara wondered if she did it on purpose.

But Megara was distracted from Alex's slender, toned waist when she started confessing her frustrations to her and she felt the need to listen. Alex was actually asking her for advice and she felt strangely honored that the repressed shadowhunter was asking for her help.

"Follow your heart." She said. 'I hope it leads you to me.'   
\--------------  
When Megara heard that Alex had been attacked at the institute, it took every ounce of self control she had not to rush to her side.

She'd found out about the attack through Raphael of all people, as peculiar as that was.   
Since Megara helped Raphael when he was turned, he called her for advice on helping a newly turned fledging.   
"Try not to be your usual obnoxious self and you'll be fine." She advised   
"I guess I'm just gonna keep him in the cell then." Raphael said   
Turned out Clary's mundane boyfriend got himself bitten by Camille and Clary's other boyfriend, the blonde git, had to rush to the institute for an emergency so Raphael offered Clary and Simon protection while also helping the newly turned Simon.   
Megara had asked what emergency could've possible driven Jace from Clary's side since he seemed practically glued to her when Raphael mentioned something about his parabatai being hurt.   
"It's not like I was listening to them talk." Raphael said dismissively. He was totally listening because he totally cared about Simon but Megara wasn't too concerned about that.  
Alex was hurt!

Luckily, the institute called her about checking the wards and Megara probably would've found a way anyhow but this was good. Not only could she make sure Alex was okay but she also had an excuse to overcharge Nephilim.

After all, just because she now had a soft spot for Alex didn't mean she was suddenly buddies with all shadowhunters. She still thought most Nephilim were sanctimonious, self righteous assholes who built there wealth on treasures they took from Downworlders they killed so overcharging them for her services was quite fair, honestly.   
With that thought, she portaled to the institute.

Alex avoided eye contact with her the entire time Robert was with them as Megara reinforced the wards. She was relieved when she saw Alex seemed mostly fine, although the wound must've been deep if a rune couldn't heal it.   
But then Alex refused Megara's offer to heal the wound completely and Megara could tell something was off.

'I can tell you're hurt, but I don't know how to help you.'  
\-----------------  
It was a terrible, no good, absolutely ridiculous idea and Megara was sure she'd come to regret this.   
But Jace shot her a pleading look and damn! She was starting to get why people loved this gorgeous bastard.

Alex was gonna hate her if she found out.

Megara stood outside Alex's bedroom and carried out Jace and Izzy's plan, vanishing Alex's stele and putting it back in place in time. She felt guilty about betraying Alex like this. 

She flirted with Alex, mostly to hide what she had been doing moments ago. But then Alex thanked her for her advice and foolishly, stupidly, Megara let herself hope.  
She thought maybe Alex was finally admitting her feelings 

But then Alex told her she proposed to Logan Branwell because it was a "solid partnership" and a good opportunity for her career and while Megara was somewhat calm on the outside, she was resisting the urge to bang her head repeatedly against the wall and ask which deity thought it was funny to make her fall for this emotionally repressed, self sacrificing _dumb ass!_!!

Megara felt hurt and annoyed as she portaled back home. Mostly she felt defeated. She didn't even care that Alex didn't choose her, she just wished she would choose herself.   
What was it with these shadowhunters and their obsession with tradition anyway? Alex was so afraid of her sexuality, because of what? Religion?

Almost unwillingly, Megara remembered her mother. More specifically she remembered the stories she used to tell her as a kid, at a time when she looked at Megara and still saw her daughter and not a demon.  
Megara's mother used to hold her hand and take her to the temples in Java where she'd tell her various stories about the hundreds of deities in Hindu myths. _Brahma, Wisnu, Shiva, Kali.._  
One particular story came to Megara's mind.   
The story of _Ardhanaarisvara_. To bring balance to the universe, Lord Shiva and his consort Parvati merged together to become one. In that form, they represented the masculine and feminine, the passive energy and active energy, purusha (man) and prakriti (nature). It is said that together they represent the universe, therefore the universe is made of feminine and masculine energies and requires both to exist.

Most people interpret that in a heteronormative narrative, man and woman together form a whole and therefore straight couples are the default, yada yada yada

Megara interpreted it differently. To her, _Ardhanaarisvara_ depicted the fluidity of gender and sexuality. Everyone is made of feminine and masculine energies, but fall in different ends of the spectrum. Some are more male, some are more female, some are both and others are neither or in between. 

Basically, Megara always thought it was stupid for society to function on gender binaries. 

She knew the main reason behind Nephilim being against same sex relations is procreation. In fact, most shadowhunter got married for the sole reason of keeping their bloodlines alive, just so they can produce the next generation of soldiers.   
she feels sick whenever she remembers the attitude shadowhunters have towards their own children. 

Megara wasn't going to give up that easily. She knows Alex feels the same way about her, she can see it in her eyes. But Alex doesn't know she deserves happiness, she doesn't know she's allowed to fight for it so Megara will fight for her.   
She's not going to give up on her. Not now. Not ever.

'I've fallen for you, deeply and irrevocably. And I know you've fallen for me too.'  
\----------------  
"Name your price."  
"You."

Megara had been having a little fun at Alex's expense. Of course she would agree to represent Isabelle at her trial, that girl had risked her life to save a Downworlder. Megara's respect for Izzy had increased tenfold. But she also had a reputation to uphold and she wasn't in the mood to make it easy for Alex. So she asked for her bow in payment 

Mostly Megara was curious. Alex loved her bow, probably one of the few things she was proud of. Would she protest Megara's claim to it?   
But Alex didn't even hesitate, not even for a second before giving up her bow.

How could Alex not see how amazing she was? 

'If only you could see yourself through my eyes my dear, you would realize you deserve better. I want to give you the universe and everything beyond it.'

Megara was slightly nervous, the only Downworlder in a room full of shadowhunters. The Inquisitor was also obviously trying to intimidate her.   
But Megara was older and far more powerful than anyone in this room. She channeled that inner heir of Edom and faced the crowd.

Isabelle's speech made her feel oddly proud. She was beginning to like this girl more and more. 

And damn it, Logan Branwell turned out to be an amazing fucking human being. A part of Megara had wished he would be an obnoxious asshole which would've made it easier for her to break Alex's engagement. 

Once the cup had been returned and Izzy was declared free, Megara mentioned their deal to Alex, who looked resigned but determined. Megara didn't get why Alex looked so hopeful when she admitted that she was impressed by Logan   
"See, you get it right?" She asked  
Megara fought the urge to shake the girl. Sure Logan was a good fella but that didn't mean she had to _marry_ him!

Megara let Alex keep her enchanted bow and quiver. She never planned on actually taking them. But no matter what happened in the future, whenever Alex used her bow she'd be reminded of her.   
\---------------  
Alex's wedding day was fast approaching and Megara actually felt a little panicked. But Alex was nothing if not incredibly bull headed and Megara would need a fucking miracle to get her to see reason.

She made one last attempt and all she managed to do was spook Alex. As annoyed and hurt as she was by Alex's words, Megara had to admit she heard the confusion and doubt in her voice. 

But she still wanted to avoid Alex and very reluctantly portaled to the institute when Jace and Clary called.

Megara agreed to go to Ragnor's house mostly because she wanted to talk to him herself. Ragnor always gave the best advice and Megara could really use his help.

Holding Ragnor's dead body broke something in her.  
This is why she didn't help shadowhunters!!  
It was only after Jace and Clary disappeared into the portal that she allowed herself to cry.   
Ragnor had been her oldest friend. He was the one who put her back together after Asmodeus broke her with his twisted, evil excuse for love. 

And now he was killed in front of her eyes and there was nothing she could do to help him.  
"I'm so sorry." Megara whispered as she prepared to bury her friend.   
Megara lost many people in her long life. To sickness, to war, to mortality. Thus was the bane of an immortal. 

Somehow she deluded herself into believing Ragnor would be one of the few constants, like he had always been.

She debated calling Catarina, she didn't want to be alone. But she also didn't feel like facing anyone either. 

For some reason, she remembered the day she healed Luke. She kept thinking about Alex and how she held her steady, giving her strength and warmth while she was exhausted. Maybe Alex's warm embrace could fill the hollowness in her chest.

'I feel a little less lonely when I'm around you, my dear, but your absence leaves me feeling colder than before. Come to me now, I crave your warmth.'  
\--------------------  
Ragnor's ghost appeared to her and Megara wasn't as surprised as she should be. Even in death, he was looking out for. 

Alex's impending wedding made her reminisce her time with Camille. Ragnor had always disapproved of the vampire, warning Megara against her. 

She wondered what Ragnor would think of Alex.

Ragnor's ghost appeared once again when she tried playing his charango. It reminded her of Imasu. Sweet, handsome Imasu.   
Megara had been too afraid to go after him.

He was smart and funny and kind and loving and everything Camille wasn't. He loved her and Megara loved him.  
But he was also mortal and her crippling fear of being left alone had prevented her from letting things get too serious, much to Imasu's frustration. After a while, he left and she let him go.

"Maybe Camille was right." She told Ragnor's ghost "I am immortal. I can party and have fun to my heart’s content without the anchors of love around my feet."

"You are not Camille. And though I know you won’t believe me, someday someone will come along, who will tear down those walls you’ve built around your heart. And when that love comes back to you, you must do everything in your power to fight for it."

And just like that, Megara remembered the promise she made herself. She wouldn't give up on Alex. She won't give up on herself. 

'You tell me to go away but your eyes always beg me to stay. I'm coming my love, to ask you a final time. Maybe for once you'll listen to what you really want.'  
\----------------  
Megara had always been a bit of a drama queen.   
Could you blame her? She had been alive when Shakespear was still a struggling artist, may have even provided him some inspiration.

So of course she found a way to make a dramatic entrance. She was gate crashing a wedding after all.  
Her magic caused the doors to burst open and everyone's attention was on her. She could see the shock and then disgust on the faces of some people. She vaguely heard Maryse Lightwoods outraged protests and dismissed her almost as an afterthought.

All eyes were on her but Megara had eyes only for one person. 

She looked beautiful. Alex was always gorgeous but that day, she looked ethereal. Megara almost forgot why she was there, lost for a moment in Alexandra's beauty   
But then Alex had a quick, frantic conversation with Logan before turning towards her again and Megara sucked in a breath 

Alex looked at her with a burning intensity and Megara looked back, raising her chin slightly in challenge.   
For once, Megara couldn't tell what was going on in Alex's mind but she could tell one thing, Alex was no longer confused.

She watched Alexandra take one step forward, then another.   
"Enough" she told her mother, firm and authoritative and Megara's last thought was how hot Alex looked like that, defiant and proud, before she felt Alex's hands on her jacket, pulling her close and-

'I've dreamed of this moment, a thousand times, a million times. But nothing I have ever imagined comes close to this feeling.'

Alex was clearly inexperienced. She pressed her lips against Megara's with bruising intensity and she was sloppy and their teeth clashed together.

It was the best damn kiss in Megara's life and she was deeply disappointed when Alex pulled away. But then she kissed her again and this time, it was a little less desperate and more relaxed and Megara finally processed what happened because holy _shit_! Alexandra Lightwood had kissed her in front of her family and the clave and she walked out of her own wedding to do so.

'You chose me. You could've chosen your family, your duty, honor but you chose me and you chose yourself and I'm so proud of you.'

Megara pulled back to look at Alex's face. Her expression morphed from determination to wonder to shock and then a little bit of fear. But there was no regret and that was what made Megara smile.

"You never cease to amaze me Alexandra."

"Yeah, what did I do?" 

**Author's Note:**

> The story of Ardhanarisvara is a part of the mythology but the interpretation is my own.


End file.
